A Look in the Rear View

Posted in 2015 as we prepared for a family vacation return drive.

Despite my best attempts, our kids have turned out to be fine, upstanding citizens of whom we couldn’t be more proud. They are simply the best.

May I Have Your Attention for a Brief Message

Good morning, Mini Sojourners.

Thank you for traveling with us today. Our trip is estimated at approximately 13 hours into the DFW area.

While we complete final preparations for departure, I would like to introduce new safety features of your Family Truckster 2015.

Should we encounter any sustained disruptions or disturbances on our journey, an overhead enjoyment revocation sign will illuminate and passengers in our main cabin will be required to surrender all electronic gadgets and assorted card games.

If turbulence continues, this vehicle is equipped with the advanced “I’m SiriusXM or Else” safety feature (patent pending). If activated, noise canceling headphones will automatically deploy in the cockpit while the following presets loop in constant rotation in our main cabin (in order of severity):

1 – Neil Diamond ⚠️
2 – The Carpenters ⚠️⚠️
3 – Barry Manilow ⚠️⚠️⚠️
4 – Gordon Lightfoot ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

***In the event preset 4 is required, CPS will automatically be contacted by our emergency response system.

We hope to provide you with a safe and enjoyable ride to your destination. We know you don’t have a choice in travel providers but do have a choice in how you travel.

Arm doors and cross check.

Disclaimer: No 1970’s songwriters, singers, musical acts or their legacies, SiriusXM, or Mini Sojourners were harmed in the making of this post.

Vacation Expectations vs. Reality

Teenager Sojourner and Junior Sojourner on a snorkeling trip during the same vacation as the safety briefing above, demonstrating the difference between what goes through my sweet wife’s head and reality:

Credits: Family Truckster is Clark’s ride for the Griswold family in the movie, National Lampoon’s Vacation. 1983. Clark is my spirit animal.